The mind loves to trick you. Create real self love & confidence

Is your mind playing tricks on you? How to love & feel truly confident within yourselfIf people ask you about me who I was years ago, they will tell you that I was a bit of a diva, a bit fabulous, and completely nuts, they would’ve said that I exuded confidence. Dancing on tables, louder than life, slut-dropping like there’s no thamorra, I can see why people would say such things...Y'know, for a long time, I thought the same, I believed me, alas, this was not the case for my ego had completely tricked me into thinking I was something that I wasn’t. *siiiiiiiiigh* Don’t get me wrong, I craved to be confident, I longed to be up there with the best of them, sharing my voice, my inner voice, my soul, my message, my feelings, my truth but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t bring myself to be me. It hurt. A LOT. It hurt me so much that I numbed it with drugs and alcohol to pacify how I really felt inside. And what was that I hear you ask…?It was a soul who was longing to step out of the shadows and into the light. A soul who’s got a big role to play in Mother Earth’s ascension, a soul who longed to be accepted as is and not for what the world wanted it, me to be. For years I abused myself, I neglected my own precious soul in order to be accepted by others. I rejected my soul so that I could feel like I was loved by others. I muted myself because I was too afraid to speak up, to speak out about what I really wanted and what I really desired inside. I was completely petrified!!! Now, I know there’s saying ‘fake it until you make it’. But you fake it without addressing what’s really going on inside, is that really beneficial to you and your journey? Fortunately, I am protected, I am loved, and supported by something far greater than what I could ever receive here on earth and out of its love for me, it pulled me out of despair, it tore me away from the ‘faking it’ phase, cos like to be honest, I don’t think I would’ve addressed what was really going on until something or something gave me the shock that I needed. Granted, whilst I was being hauled out my fakeness, I had a few tough lessons that I needed to learn along the way, about my own behaviour, about how I REALLY felt about myself. It totally awakened me to the fact that deep down inside, there was a girl crying, dying to come up for air, for she had been suffocating underneath the emotional garbage I’d been pouring on top of her, leaving it to fester for donkey’s. Can you imagine the stench? Poor lass! My confidence came from a fake place. From the ego. It did not serve me in the slightest, in fact it just created more pain.

So how to tell if your confidence is coming from the ego?

  1. There’s emotional charge before you act.

  2. You are doing it because you want others to validate who you are as a person.

  3. You feel like a fraud

  4. You hurt others as a result of your ‘confidence’

  5. You get defensive when people try to call you out

  6. You need to have ample amount of booze or drugs before you’re ‘confident’.

  7. Your confidence is wall you hide behind to stop people from peeking around the curtain

  8. You feel guilty after your actions

  9. It doesn’t feel like you

  10. You base your actions on what you think people want to see from you