Is your mind playing tricks on you? How to love & feel truly confident within yourselfIf people ask you about me who I was years ago, they will tell you that I was a bit of a diva, a bit fabulous, and completely nuts, they would’ve said that I exuded confidence. Dancing on tables, louder than life, slut-dropping like there’s no thamorra, I can see why people would say such things...Y'know, for a long time, I thought the same, I believed me, alas, this was not the case for my ego had completely tricked me into thinking I was something that I wasn’t. *siiiiiiiiigh* Don’t get me wrong, I craved to be confident, I longed to be up there with the best of them, sharing my voice, my inner voice, my soul, my message, my feelings, my truth but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t bring myself to be me. It hurt. A LOT. It hurt me so much that I numbed it with drugs and alcohol to pacify how I really felt inside. And what was that I hear you ask…?It was a soul who was longing to step out of the shadows and into the light. A soul who’s got a big role to play in Mother Earth’s ascension, a soul who longed to be accepted as is and not for what the world wanted it, me to be. For years I abused myself, I neglected my own precious soul in order to be accepted by others. I rejected my soul so that I could feel like I was loved by others. I muted myself because I was too afraid to speak up, to speak out about what I really wanted and what I really desired inside. I was completely petrified!!! Now, I know there’s saying ‘fake it until you make it’. But you fake it without addressing what’s really going on inside, is that really beneficial to you and your journey? Fortunately, I am protected, I am loved, and supported by something far greater than what I could ever receive here on earth and out of its love for me, it pulled me out of despair, it tore me away from the ‘faking it’ phase, cos like to be honest, I don’t think I would’ve addressed what was really going on until something or something gave me the shock that I needed. Granted, whilst I was being hauled out my fakeness, I had a few tough lessons that I needed to learn along the way, about my own behaviour, about how I REALLY felt about myself. It totally awakened me to the fact that deep down inside, there was a girl crying, dying to come up for air, for she had been suffocating underneath the emotional garbage I’d been pouring on top of her, leaving it to fester for donkey’s. Can you imagine the stench? Poor lass! My confidence came from a fake place. From the ego. It did not serve me in the slightest, in fact it just created more pain.
So how to tell if your confidence is coming from the ego?
There’s emotional charge before you act.
You are doing it because you want others to validate who you are as a person.
You feel like a fraud
You hurt others as a result of your ‘confidence’
You get defensive when people try to call you out
You need to have ample amount of booze or drugs before you’re ‘confident’.
Your confidence is wall you hide behind to stop people from peeking around the curtain
You feel guilty after your actions
It doesn’t feel like you
You base your actions on what you think people want to see from you
How to create real confidence, from a place of love, of compassion, of truth.You have to start loving yourself in short...
Get ready to face yourself in the mirror - in the beginning I could not do this. I could not look myself in the eye for months. Savage. If you want to know what shame looks like...der ya go.
Be aware of your thinking, your automatic thoughts are a great indicator of what’s happening inside. If you feel like you’re being tormented by your thoughts, start digging deep.
Healing - you have to make peace with your past, with the messages you’re carrying with you right now. You have to make a conscious effort to transform these messages - coaching, energy healing, forgiveness, gratitude, all that is included. Just get it done.
What is the 1 thing you can do each day that will create a sense of self love
Start doing things that make you scared. The more you practice overcoming your fears the easier it’ll get!
Meditation - this is your connection to Source, to your Higher Power. Without this, any transformation will tough (in my opinion)
Letting your soul loose - through dance, through singing, just let it flow.
Accepting everything as is, including yourself. You’re PERFECT
Good luck creating long lasting true self love & confidence. I will see you up the mountain as we ascend this thing we call life.