On being a mixed-race lesbian...


Firstly, you are loved! If anyone tells you otherwise, who are they to question your lovability? No one can do that, not even you...

Anyways...Hello, my name is Kyla, I’m the internal talent acquisition partner for a professional services business, a spiritual healer, mentor, helping purpose driven individuals embody their authentic self so that they can have more joy in life and I identify as a lesbian...what a box that is!🤣

In honour of Pride Month, I thought I would share a little story about me and my experience as a lesbian woman making my way through this beautiful game called life.

Once upon a time, I struggled to admit that I was a lesbian, never mind say it out loud. I felt a lot of shame for being gay, I used to often ask myself - “why me? I’m already different because of my colour, why do I need another target on my back?” I used to get bullied as a kid for having different coloured skin. I remember times when I literally had to sprint home to avoid people, it was not fun, although I am thankful I was of good stock😉😘😂 .

Being mixed raced, to be honest, the last thing I wanted was to be gay as well and through a combination of things, I felt worthless, embarrassed, and ashamed about who I was and for years I hid a massive part of me. It wasn’t until I left home and went to university that I really began to explore who I was and my sexuality.

It was hard, not because my parents were non accepting, I have an amazing mam, who said when I came out to her “Kyla, you’re my daughter, I’ve always known, I’ve been waiting for you to feel confident enough to tell me.” But the challenge for me came from not accepting myself for who I was. Holding hands, showing any kinds of affection in public (not OTT), I found it difficult because I was afraid of being judged, verbally abused, and more…I ended up feeling like a bit of a joke and I didn’t want to put myself out there, it was too much hassle, and I didn’t want that. I wanted to be left alone to live life happily and with peace of mind.

In my opinion, life shouldn’t be hassling you because of who you love, and fortunately for me today, it doesn’t.

I believe that reality is changed within first through embodying the Self and through self-acceptance and a load of inner healing work I actually love and embrace who I am today, bringing my whole self to every occasion, whether it be at work, the pub, or out and about. The people I work with, who are in my life, see me for me, for the energy I bring, not who I fall in love with and for that I am truly thankful. When I began accepting myself, the world began accepting me too. Maybe they already did but I was too afraid to let them…

If I am ever on the receiving end of somebody else’s baggage, then I do my best to offer love, forgiveness, and compassion because to me, people who hurt people are hurt themselves.

Be loving, be kind, be you, the real authentic you.

Love to all.



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