We are living in a time where people are becoming more and more disconnected from themselves. Drugs, alcohol, sex, social media, and whatever else. We are unhappy, mental health problems are the norm, and for many of us, we can’t seem to pull ourselves out of the gutter. The health system is bursting at the seams and we are all looking for someone else to blame for the failings of the world that we are living in at the moment. But is that fair? Is someone else to blame? My personal opinion no, it is not. We all have a duty to look after ourselves and one another and the responsibility lies with all of us, not just some of us. Why? Because we are one, we are all connected, whether we can see it or not. What to do about it? If we want to see change happen, if we want a better life for ourselves, if we want to see others living happier and healthier lives, then we, as individuals and as a collective have to start changing, and the start happens within ourselves first. We raise our own awareness, we heal our emotional stuff, we make peace with our past, we let go of judgement, over time we feel happier, healthier and we become the ‘ripe tomato’, that everyone wants. So people follow you because they see how much you’ve changed, so they change and this pattern continues, one person at a time.
Let’s air some of my dirty laundry shall we as an example?
There was an incident that triggered me recently, I was so mad and angry that part of me wanted to call people out for throwing shade at others. But I didn’t. ‘Why?’ Because, I would be doing the exact same thing they are, by letting my emotions get the better of me. I decided to look at myself and look at the underlying reasons as to why I got so charged up. The situation wasn’t even related to me but the surge of self-righteousness and need to defend others overcame my body, I found myself having to take some serious time out as I was quite literally bouncing around the place like a bat in a belfry tower. Needless to say, if I’d gone ahead, I would’ve definitely made a right tit out of myself.
So what did I find under the anger? There were feelings of guilt, failure, worthlessness, shame, humiliation, and low self-esteem masked in pride. Ultimately, this situation had triggered my own sense of perceived failure, it triggered the parts of my sense of self that I try to not think about but are 100% there. In response to this, I cleared the charge, the trapped emotions, I connected to my Higher Self, asked for forgiveness, and had a hot bath where I practiced a meditation to reconnect, there were bubbles, I had a bit of Chill hop on the go, a face-mask on, it was fab. In all honesty, for a long time, I judged, I lacked compassion, patience, and more with people and myself. Don’t me wrong, I’m no saint now and I still have my moments now, however, the improvement has been massive, just ask me Mam ...Since coming home from Australia, she has noticed a huge change in me and she’s said numerous times that my change is also helping her. Energy is infectious, remember that. It wasn’t that long ago, that I had a very different mindset. I spent a lot of time trying to willfully solve my issues, I would come from the head instead of the heart, I would try and solve the challenge at hand from a place of reason, which really, was about as much use as a chocolate fire-guard. Why? Well, as Jung so magnificently puts it, “Reason...is nothing more than the sum-total of man’s prejudices and his short-sighted views”. My beliefs, views, knowledge at the time was based on what others had told or shown me...blame others, attack, defend, shut up, and shut down. I couldn’t show up for myself let alone someone else. My life was embroiled with anxiety, depression, addiction, I felt like a victim to life and I threw just as much darkness out into the world through my thoughts, words, and actions as I was attracting it. Since becoming an Emotion Code & Tao Hands Practitioner as well as being a spiritual student, I have learned that nothing really is as it seems and before we cast the first stone, we should first go within to find out which parts we are hiding from the light.
“The Map Is Not The Territory”. What does this mean? When we go on a trip, we plug the postcode into the app and it sets the directions for us to follow. Yet this map is not reality, it is a representation of the land that we are trying to navigate. This is the same for us. We navigate our lives based on a representation of what we believe to be so. These representations are based on what we’ve experienced, what we’ve been told by others, what we have been shown by others, which is great but does that make it real? Does that make it true? And if the map that we are using is obsolete, outdated and is no longer serving us in the way that it used to. What then? We need to get a different map and one that is going to serve us and others much more effectively. Becoming aware of our outdated maps.
How can we become more aware of ourselves? We can start asking questions. Ask yourself ‘what lies beneath the emotion?’ In this case, it was anger. You may hear a word, you feel something, see something, follow your intuition.
Ask ‘What am I fearful of in this situation?’ ‘What do I need to heal within myself?’ ‘Does this reaction serve me? Does this reaction serve others?’
Keeping asking the question until you discover the core belief, what is it you’re afraid of, really?I’ll start with one question then the next thing, I’m crawling down the rabbit hole of the unknown and into the darker parts of myself. Sometimes it’s a little scary as I don’t like what I’m faced with. But how can I continue to grow, gain mental & emotional strength, if I’m not prepared to face myself and give love to the parts that need love?
Having this awareness and asking myself the right questions have been key for my own journey. Why? Because I am now accountable for my own thoughts, actions, and behaviour, not my environment, and not the world around me. And this is the same for all of us. Shifting from this victim mindset has actually freed me, I am more compassionate, more open, I can see things from different perspectives, I’m less rigid, and I am more tolerable as a person, lol people actually like being around me!!! Don’t me wrong, I’m still human, clearly, I still have my moments, but those moments are becoming less as I go deeper within. Releasing what no longer serves you
“God grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.” Most of what we believe now has been fed to us by the world around us, we’ve taken it on and we’ve made it true. We can also make it untrue if we want. This is the beauty of free-will. You’re already aware that something isn’t quite right by asking questions. The next step is about accepting and letting go. Whatever your belief, religious denomination or whether you believe in science, surrendering to a power much higher than yourself, shedding the ego, is huge during this process. This was difficult for me, as my will was strong, very strong. In the end, a power greater than me had me on my knees and I surrendered deeper than I’ve gone before. Every time I’ve surrendered, which is not pretty by the way, I’ve felt this overwhelming peace, a total calming feeling within my heart. It still gets me, as I have no clue how it works, I just know it does.
The tools that I use
Journaling, I write about how I'm feeling and I asked for help from the Universe
I tracked my automatic thoughts, for they have a source and have to come from somewhere
Meditation. Connecting to the Universal Mind which is infinitely more powerful than was great as it has all of the answers to my questions.
Forgiveness; myself and others. People think forgiveness is about excusing people’s wrongdoings. It’s not, you’re letting go of the pain that is now causing you.
Gratitude. Every morning and every evening I gave thanks for what I had and what was coming my way. I also gave thanks to the negative situations for they were giving me the opportunity to grow.
Shifting my perspective; seeing it from someone else’s viewpoint. You don’t know someone else's story, we don’t know their background, we don’t know the conditions surrounding their environment, so who are we to judge, to call names, to hurt?
I started to look at the negative beliefs that I had in place and I started to change them.
I took daily bite-sized actions that overtime amounted to big chunks and once that gained momentum, it started to feed itself.
I started to visualise and meditate on the life that I wanted, on how I wanted to feel and I started to feel it. I started to consciously bring more joy, more love, more happiness into my life because I was becoming happier, more, loving, and more joyous inside.
What have been the results?
I am able to show up better for myself and for others because I can deal with a lot more.
I can provide guidance, I can give hope as I have already walked the path and I can lead by example.
I can give more love to others, more compassion, and I can do this because I can give more love & compassion to myself.
I now have goals and a vision of how I want to serve, I listen to Higher Self and follow its lead because I know that if I follow its guidance everything will be okay.
Final thoughts. Just remember, when we point the finger, there are three pointing back at us.
I hope you enjoyed this and I hope it will help you on your journey of self-discovery.
Much love, Kyla