About me, the real me.
I'm Michaela (Kyla) Edwards, I come from a small town in the North East of England, I spent some time living in the Czech Republic, then London, then up to Newcastle, Sydney, and now I'm back in County Durham.
I'm a Certified Emotion Code & Tao Hands Practitioner, I have a degree in Human Resources & I focused on Human Motivation Theory, I guess I've always been interested in the reasons why people do the things that they do and I use my interest in motivation, psychology, and science along with my training & background to help clients achieve their personal & professional goals.
I've worked in recruitment sales for years, it was fast-paced, full-on, and a bit of an emotional roller-coaster, I loved the highs (maybe a bit too much), feared the lows, and for a long time I kinda accepted my life as is. I loved the buzz, it made me feel alive, when I was doing well, the job made me feel like a somebody, money in the bank, relationship, eating in swanky restaurants, spending money on useless stuff because I could.
Boy, I was livin' the dream, albeit a fragile one at best...
You see, inside I was full of anxiety, I felt depressed, I was full of fear inside, and I was constantly on guard, waiting for something to go wrong, for someone to hurt my feelings, or something else. I was driven by fear. I put everything I could into my relationship out of fear that they would see the real me and reject me because of it. I was fearful about potentially losing my job (even when I was doing well), so I would work all hours, I would constantly be on, and my mind would never stop. I would act in ways that would create a persona just-in-case people wouldn't like me. I was afraid of what people thought of. I compared myself to others and put myself down in the process. I thought that having a job that paid well, the partner, the stuff, the money would make up for the lack of love, the low self-esteem, and the pain that I felt inside.
When you remove the biggest fallacy in your life. That being, what you have, what you own, makes you, you. That being surrounded by stuff will make you happy. Once you remove this and you're left with yourself and the emotional memories of the pain you've suffered once before, you soon realise that everything you thought you knew was a complete lie and you're now left with two choices, change or continue to suffer.
For a while, I continued to suffer. Actually, for a long time, I chose to suffer, unbeknownst to myself, of course, to be honest, I didn't know any different. I knew how to mask my pain with drink & drugs, I knew how to party and avoid situations, I knew how to act like I was super confident yet there was a little girl crying inside and I knew how to fill my life with stuff to make myself 'seemingly' feel better.
It was bliss. Until it wasn't.
But why so much pain? I think it was a number of things, it wasn't just one thing, the tension had built up over time until the final thread in my mind snapped completely. We can have an experience, forget about it, move on, and be okay. If you think of it like a cup being filled with water, there will be a point where it becomes too much. For me, my dad left me when I was little, dipping in and out of my life when he wanted, my step-father was emotionally, physically and sexually abusive, I took an overdose, my hero (nanna) died, I was bullied at school, I had an identity crisis where I wanted to be white & straight, and then my heart got broken, that was the snap. I was completely lost & tormented myself, and I hated me. I felt broken. I self-medicated some more, made some pretty big mistakes, and I asked the question 'is this it?'
The Universe showed me that no, this wasn't it...
And so, I started my transformation journey...
I used the Emotion Code to release the self-limiting beliefs, I used my Tao Hands to clear deep-rooted feelings of shame & inadequacy, I learned how to meditate with intention. I set goals, I created affirmations with a difference, I visualised, I monitored my thoughts, identified my fears, I was disciplined with my practice. I gave thanks, I forgave, I surrendered to my Higher Power and over time, the magic started to happen. It was a process of awakening, acknowledging and accepting that I was not happy and the person to change that was me. Then I had to remodel the self, I had to peel back the layers, shedding a piece of the false self each time, and then I had to get clear about what I wanted and for someone who'd spent her life going after what I was told would make me happy, it wasn't an easy task.
Now, I can only say one word and that is WOW. I'm sober, I'm healthy, I feel empowered to achieve my goals, I believe in myself, I am courageous and go after my dreams from a place of love. I'm happy being me, I love being me. I value my voice, I have set up a soul focused business that will help empower others. I am stepping into my body and into power...and my God it feels gooooooood💪
If you're resonating with me, you feel like this work could benefit you and you'd like to work with someone who's walked down the path before you. Then book a free session. Let's get this party started!