I hear you, I see you, and I believe in your potential.
Read more about the story, mission and values behind Awaken Her
Hi, I'm Michaela (Kyla for short),
I’m a sober, single, living-at-home 30-something who is building the business and life of her dreams. I love where I am in life at the moment, I have a clear vision, I’m growing every day, I have peace of mind & I’m happy.
Sounds like I’ve got it made, doesn’t it (or partially)? To be honest, my world had to collapse for me to get here & I still find myself from time to time doubting myself, my worthiness, and my abilities, but I deal with it & I push through. I was not born to give up & I now truly believe that I can have the life I want.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be an athlete, a footballer, I wanted to help people, I wanted to be a doctor, a lawyer, I wanted money, & I wanted to be successful. During childhood, I won numerous awards for karate, running, and football. I was captain of the school netball & co-captain for the boy's football team, I got picked to train with the school of excellence for Sunderland, I was the army cadet cross-country champion, the youngest NCO at the time, & set up a girls football team whereby we won numerous competitions. I had solid sporting and academic achievements, I was a 'good kid', yet even as a good kid, I was always felt like something was missing from my life, something was missing inside of me. So I tried harder to fill that hole. Tried really hard to be liked by everyone, I people-pleased, I worried, & I stressed about what people thought of me. Thus, from a young age and I began to live a life based on the judgement & expectations of others. 'If I was was more girly, then people would like me', 'If my hair was more European, people would find me attractive.' 'If I drank, then people would find me fun to be around'.' If I was a millionaire, then I would have it all.' (I'm nowhere near this point (never was)) I stopped caring about sport & the cadets because women didn’t make as much money, plus I didn't want people to think I was a lesbian (the irony lol) for liking sport & being in the cadets (what does that say about me), I focused on being popular rather than being happy, I got my head down as much as possible (you can tell which subjects I liked & which ones I chose to please others), I went to Uni, I dropped out of Law School, I worked in Argos for a year, then decided I wanted more, went back, did HR, got a job in recruitment because I wanted to make money because I thought it had the answers to my happiness problem. I travelled to Czech on a bus for a job because I was broke, I slept on floors, shared a bed with bedbugs in London, I did all of it so that I could be where the money was. Clearly I had none of it. But I persevered & kept going. After a year of pushing & striving, my life began to change. I started to make commission through recruitment, the girl I had met in Czech came over, & I thought that this was it, I was made, this would make me happy.
The photo above is me just before I started my transformation journey. The one below is me now...
I had money, I had a decent paying job, a relationship, yet I was more stressed and anxious than ever. Think hamster on a hamsters wheel, running tirelessly nowhere. We all know what happens to the hamster eventually. With my best mates worry & stress, I lived for the weekends, drained and exhausted from the week. I looked ill, I was unhealthy, I put on weight, & I drank copious amounts of alcohol & consumed all kinds of drugs to numb out. One thing was certain. With all that was going seemingly well, I was not happy, I was not fulfilled & I was not living. Why? Because I was so afraid of losing my source of happiness and love that I felt like I had to fight to keep it. I was so attached to the feeling that money, relationships, success gave me, imagining life without it was unbearable.
It was clear that this way of thinking wasn’t right & The Universe agreed. My life fell apart. My ex broke up with me, deep down I hated recruitment but felt stuck because I had spent years doing it & starting again scared the shit out of me. So ignored the warning signs. In pain from my break-up, I avoided it by drinking more which led to me getting in trouble with the police. I've never felt guilt & shame like it, the persona I had built over years by denying myself & avoiding my feelings was gone. Nonetheless, I carried on. I bounced around a bit, feeling lost, hopeless, & depressed. I had a great idea, I thought a location change would do me good. So I moved to Australia. By this point, the penny had not dropped that it was me who needed to change, not the job, not the location, not a new relationship. Bringing your old self to a new opportunity will end the same.
They say our earlier experiences help shape who we are; mine included a sexually, emotionally, & physically abusive stepfather, bullying, my hero (Nanna) dying, & an absent father who dipped in and out of my life when he wanted. With the bonus of being gay on top of mixed-raced, I decided I did not need that additional target on my back, so I denied that part of me for years. In short, I grew up thinking I was unlovable, unloving, & unloved, so I grew up trying to prove the opposite through school, through sport, through work, through relationships & more. With these deep-rooted beliefs, I sabotaged any chances of happiness & my life became a series of self-fulfilling prophecies. I attracted partners whom I knew weren’t right for me, I was emotionally shut down, & I had nothing to give, my spark had gone. I honestly thought that if I had money then I would be happy, if I had a relationship then I would be happy, if I had a successful career then I would be happy, if I was skinny I would be happy, why because people would want me. I lived chasing the ‘if-then’ pipe dream. Whatever you do. Don't get stuck in the 'If-then' pipedream, it's bottomless & you'll never get what you really want.
With my life spinning out of my control and the excitement of a new life in Australia afoot, I totally thought it was the magic pill I'd been looking for, it was a completely fresh start (externally speaking). I was happy for a while but like most happiness gained from experiences alone the buzz wore off, so I there I was again, back to square one. Deeply unhappy, no real purpose & unfulfilled.
With old habits & avoidance tactics in full swing (drink & drugs), I had found myself on NYE 2017 alone, lonely, and feeling like my life was going nowhere as I kept making the same mistakes over & over again. I laid on my single bed in Sydney because I couldn’t afford anything more (partying was more important), and I cried. ‘Is this it?’ I asked myself ‘Is this my life?’ I didn’t realise but since childhood, my thinking and actions had slowly been reinforcing the message that I wasn’t good enough, that I was not worthy of loving relationships, or worthy of having a happy and fulfilling life filled with good relationships, a career I love & true happiness in my heart. My life reflected this. My external world matched my internal world to exact frequency & vibration. Looking up at the ceiling, I begged someone or something to help me. I was ready and prepared to do anything to change my life.
I realised that no matter how much I tried to create happiness through controlling my external world because my internal world was more like a crack den, I was never going to get the longlasting happiness I longed for. So I changed tactics & started looking for other ways to fix my life.
For me, I wanted to be happy, I wanted to feel good about myself, I wanted to do a job that I felt good about, I wanted to feel like I was adding value to the world & I wanted my head to stop berating me. Ultimately, I wanted a life of happiness, meaning and purpose. I stopped drinking. I felt good. I thought I had cracked it. So I started drinking & partying again. Cue the guilt, the self beratement, & negative thinking. To be honest. For me, the real journey started when I stopped all of the craziness in September 2018. As soon as I did this, boom, the deep healing started (this was a personal choice, you don't have to) I used creative visualisation, energy healing techniques (The Emotion Code & Tao Hands) & meditation to purge the past, I used mindset tools to unlock my thinking & I started to set goals for my future. Addressing my internal world & my negative self-beliefs has allowed me to create a life from a place of self-love which has resulted in more happiness, & inner peace. I'm a nicer person, I have better relationships, I care about the world & humanity, & I have all of my good qualities and then some. Regarding my ego-based qualities (anger, unhealthy pride, arrogance, worthlessness, resentment etc...) they're either gone completely or I’m delayering them bit by bit.
Through healing my heart, aligning to my soul, shifting my thinking & embodying new positive behaviours, I’m finally in a place where I truly believe that I am loving, lovable, and loved. The world will accept me as I am because I accept me as I am. I know who I am, I’m empowered, and I’m fulfilled. My happiness comes from meaning & purpose, and I have the vision to help millions of women & people around the world to create & live life from the same loving place. I’m energised and I can honestly say I really love my life & the direction it's heading.
Healer & Empowerment Mentor For Women
Education & Certifications
Bachelor of Human Resources, major: Human Motivation Theory
Northumbria University, 2007-2011
Certified Tao Hands Practitioner, 2018
Certified Emotion Code Practitioner
Discover Health, 2018
The Awaken Her Mission
When you transform the hearts and minds of one, there is a ripple effect that sparks positive changes in the inner and outer worlds of many.
Awaken Her exists to inspire, uplift and awaken the hearts and minds of women from all walks of life by providing unique inner transformation service that follows universal laws, spiritual principles, & is guided by your subconscious mind & energy field.
My mission as your energy healer, life-force coach, & guide to self-confidence & empowerment is to awaken you to your own innate power, courage & strength. Through the work, we will purge the past, uncover & transform hidden unconscious beliefs, & we will create more alignment between your soul, heart, mind, & body. This transformation will help you to step into your unique power, achieve your personal and professionals goals and ultimately, live a life that is full of love, joy and purpose.
Awaken Her Values
To be HOPEFUL - showing others that even in the darkest of places, there’s always a way out, follow the light.
To be COURAGEOUS - giving clients what they need.
To be PASSIONATE - I am here to serve you with my heart and soul.
To be JOYFUL - helping you find the fun in your journey.
To REMAIN JOYFUL - I will continue to develop in order to bring the best levels of service to you. You deserve the best of what I can give.
To ACT on INSPIRATION - it is SPIRIT in ACTION.